My belief in this year being the end of the world is non-existent. my belief in this year being the end, or at least the start of the end of America keeps gaining strength. Certain bills restricting our freedoms of speech and our freedoms of expression are all anyone is talking about right now and now one has the president's seal of approval, ACTA. This following the recent outrage revolving around the national defense authorization act, another constitution disgracing allowing American citizens to be legally detained without due-process and without consideration for habius-corpus. It doesn't take a scholar to see just where this is going, first say goodbye to your right to discuss the government, then say goodbye to your right to discuss how you feel about corporations, after that expect more laws that outlaw homosexuality Because,let's face it the LGBT community is t the most well liked in this country just yet. After that, expect things to just get worse if you're not a white hederosexual male with money. Will the people of this great nation finally get off there apathetic contented asses and do something against this tyrannical monster we've allowed to fester and loom over our heads for far to long? Or we wither and wilt into complete submission and just watch as our beautiful country folds to the power of corruption and complacency? The year is 2012, our country is dying, and gods help me I'll die with it before I see it's rotted caracas raped with the pious fools draining its soul like a virus. I leave you with this in a world in which our freedoms are striped and our beliefs shattered do we stand and regain our place as men and women proud and tall, or do we cower and embrace the comfort of slavery? I say stand up and fight for that which we love, because once the noose is around our necks, we're all dead anyway.
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
John F Kennedy
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Transition ain't easy!
This is my responce to a post in the transition area of the forum on racheals haven and I thought I'd help the girl on with some hard truths and some good tips! Basically this girl has just discovered that she is trans and plans on beginning her transition. She asked for some advice on how to go about having fun with her transition, and how to be passable. My responce is pretty straight foward and can probably come across as discouraging at first but these are my experiences and I wanted to share a realistic view of what she may vary likely be heading into. I've left out her handle and her original post for her protection, though let's face it, if you're reading this you're probably on the haven anyway (lurker or member ;-)).
Well I should Tell you hun, if this is what you really truly want in life, be prepared for life to be... Not so much fun for a bit. Be prepared to tell all your friends and family about your decision, an be prepared to lose them. Be prepared to be ridiculed and hated just because of you are. Be prepared to spend thousands of dollars on therapy, surgery, medication, and clothes. And be prepared for this to take years to accomplish. Now I'm not saying that everything about transitioning is bad, it's not! For the first time in your life you can finally feel like the person you're meant to be and the feeling of someone treating you as you are in your target gender is one of the best feelings I've ever had!
You sound like you have the right idea by taking it slow. Patience is probably the best thing a TG can have.
As for tips on passing, learn to walk and act like a woman mannerisms is an immediate tell! You can look like a goddess but if you walk like a cowboy your busted. Second I would say is good make up. There are plenty of tutorials online of how to do your make up well even for men! (god I love the Internet!! :-D) and lastly, and this is one that still troubles me even now, is voice for a lot of girls this is the hardest part of passing (as it is for me) it takes a long time to train your voice to sound female but it is achievable!
Lastly, and probably the best advice I can give you, is Don't Worry About Passing!! If this is who you are then this is who you are, don't let other peoples opinion deter you from being you. Hell you might find that being in the middle of the genders is where you fit best anyway! The gender spectrum is vary blurred and no one has the right to tell you where you belong on it!
Well I hope this helps you out some sweety! if you have any questions about transitioning feel free to ask. I myself am not that far along yet but I may be able to help you through yours and maybe we can even help each other
One more thing I won't use your name but I'm gonna put my responce on my blog, no reference to you Will be visible.
http://kittykeirajournal.blogspot.com/
Hope this helps you some ;-)
As an afterthought I'd also just like to say that starting on the road to become who I truely I'm is the best thing I've done for myself! It's not easy and on top of all the other thing mucking up my life right now it's even harder, but just the knowledge that some day I will pull through and be the woman I've always wanted to be makes everything worth while! I know alot of TG's go the depressed route and even sadder, attempt or succeed at suicide. But I know I can promise the world right now that will never be this girl! One day I'll look back and punch all this bullshit right in the face! And then kick it with stilleto's!!
Well I should Tell you hun, if this is what you really truly want in life, be prepared for life to be... Not so much fun for a bit. Be prepared to tell all your friends and family about your decision, an be prepared to lose them. Be prepared to be ridiculed and hated just because of you are. Be prepared to spend thousands of dollars on therapy, surgery, medication, and clothes. And be prepared for this to take years to accomplish. Now I'm not saying that everything about transitioning is bad, it's not! For the first time in your life you can finally feel like the person you're meant to be and the feeling of someone treating you as you are in your target gender is one of the best feelings I've ever had!
You sound like you have the right idea by taking it slow. Patience is probably the best thing a TG can have.
As for tips on passing, learn to walk and act like a woman mannerisms is an immediate tell! You can look like a goddess but if you walk like a cowboy your busted. Second I would say is good make up. There are plenty of tutorials online of how to do your make up well even for men! (god I love the Internet!! :-D) and lastly, and this is one that still troubles me even now, is voice for a lot of girls this is the hardest part of passing (as it is for me) it takes a long time to train your voice to sound female but it is achievable!
Lastly, and probably the best advice I can give you, is Don't Worry About Passing!! If this is who you are then this is who you are, don't let other peoples opinion deter you from being you. Hell you might find that being in the middle of the genders is where you fit best anyway! The gender spectrum is vary blurred and no one has the right to tell you where you belong on it!
Well I hope this helps you out some sweety! if you have any questions about transitioning feel free to ask. I myself am not that far along yet but I may be able to help you through yours and maybe we can even help each other
One more thing I won't use your name but I'm gonna put my responce on my blog, no reference to you Will be visible.
http://kittykeirajournal.blogspot.com/
Hope this helps you some ;-)
As an afterthought I'd also just like to say that starting on the road to become who I truely I'm is the best thing I've done for myself! It's not easy and on top of all the other thing mucking up my life right now it's even harder, but just the knowledge that some day I will pull through and be the woman I've always wanted to be makes everything worth while! I know alot of TG's go the depressed route and even sadder, attempt or succeed at suicide. But I know I can promise the world right now that will never be this girl! One day I'll look back and punch all this bullshit right in the face! And then kick it with stilleto's!!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Life's tough boo-hoo
So I've been working night shift for about 4 months now and were about to rotate back to days. Problem is, it seems my body already wants to be on day shift. Maybe it's because I know it's coming, maybe it's because my black out shades are about 6 inches to short for my windows, or maybe it's because my wife left me Christmas day for a "friend" of mine and has been making my life hell sense! (damn! 8-o)
Let me explain, thing havent been good between us for quite sometime now. I've actually tried to leave her on two occasions last year, after the first I decided to give it another try, after the second... She refused to leave the house. A month after that was Christmas day (it's kinda like she was like "you can't fire me, I quit!"). Now I won't bore you with all the minute details of how awful this woman has been to me but I will say this, this is one of the slim occasions where 98-99% of the blame is all on her! I know that sounds one sided but just imagine Sharon Stone and Robby Dinero in Casino (yeah I know... Ouch).
So I do my gosh darnest to get over all this and move on with my life, if only she'd just let me. I've changed the locks, I've got a lease without her name on it and I've threatened to call the cops on her (although I did have all my make up on and was def in guy mood besides that, yeah not really wanting to have to explain that to a cop in my nieghborhood)and she just doesn't get it! All I want is to be rid of her. And then she really fucked my world up, "I'm pregnant, its yours". Ssshhhit. Know I'm sitting here thinking, " she's just trying to fuck with me again, trying to hurt me as much as possible", but alass it is true and know I'm having a child with the only person I can say I truely and throughly hate with every fiber of my being (remember I said I was going I spare you most of the details, just believe me when I tell you my hate for her is completely justified!). This is a woman who can't carry a job for more than a month and has only had one of those in the last year, and she's trying to lose that one right now! She is emotionally and mentally unstable, she's taking more meds then a pharmacy and might not even have a place to stay in the next couple months.
And then there's me, sweet little Keira, currently more widely known by a much more masculine sounding name save a few close individuals. Someone who treads a thin line of possibly losing her job if she is found out to be transexual, not because she's incompetent, not because she's lazy, and definitely not because she's bat shit crazy! I make enough to support myself, and I do make enough to support another, barely, but if I really want to go through with my transition and the gods know I do I need to save every damn penny I can for when I finally get out of this job in a couple years and start to full time always be me!! And that is something I wouldn't trade for the world!
Other factors concerning my own situation are, well the fact that my parents don't know that there son wants to be there daughter, and that she is ready to tell them but scared out of her mind that she's going to lose them over it. The fact that I am changing my gender alone is enough to be like... "K um no kids please, I don't even have a vagina yet!".
I think That I should mention that I'm not Suggesting she get an abortion, most def. not! I'm adopted so in turn Im pro-life (not like those crazy pro-lifers though) so I think you know where I'm going when I say that neither of us is prepared for a child in our lives right now, and the only clear course of action is adoption, getting her to see that is a completely different problem that I'll be dealing with I over the next 8 months or so.
One last thing I want to point out before I stop for now is this. If you take me for being cold, then you don't truely understand what is best for a child. Why would I want my child to grow up with someone like me who can barely make it by and still scrounge up enough money to fully transition when the time comes a couple years from now or be incredablly depressed for her entire life because she was never able to because of a poor child (that I would eventually unconsciously blame)that was concevied after four years on unprotected marital sex and once it's mother finally hurt me enough that now I've come to hate her through and though. Or the child could be raised by a near psychotic borderline, I sincerely shutter at the though of what that woman could do to another human being. Why would I want either of these horrid sinareros to be placed on this defenseless human? I wouldn't ever, because it's just not fair! No one deserves a broken home before they've even entered the world!
We anyway I don't really have a proper way to end this so I'm just gonna end it by saying... Told ya it would be depressing 😉
Let me explain, thing havent been good between us for quite sometime now. I've actually tried to leave her on two occasions last year, after the first I decided to give it another try, after the second... She refused to leave the house. A month after that was Christmas day (it's kinda like she was like "you can't fire me, I quit!"). Now I won't bore you with all the minute details of how awful this woman has been to me but I will say this, this is one of the slim occasions where 98-99% of the blame is all on her! I know that sounds one sided but just imagine Sharon Stone and Robby Dinero in Casino (yeah I know... Ouch).
So I do my gosh darnest to get over all this and move on with my life, if only she'd just let me. I've changed the locks, I've got a lease without her name on it and I've threatened to call the cops on her (although I did have all my make up on and was def in guy mood besides that, yeah not really wanting to have to explain that to a cop in my nieghborhood)and she just doesn't get it! All I want is to be rid of her. And then she really fucked my world up, "I'm pregnant, its yours". Ssshhhit. Know I'm sitting here thinking, " she's just trying to fuck with me again, trying to hurt me as much as possible", but alass it is true and know I'm having a child with the only person I can say I truely and throughly hate with every fiber of my being (remember I said I was going I spare you most of the details, just believe me when I tell you my hate for her is completely justified!). This is a woman who can't carry a job for more than a month and has only had one of those in the last year, and she's trying to lose that one right now! She is emotionally and mentally unstable, she's taking more meds then a pharmacy and might not even have a place to stay in the next couple months.
And then there's me, sweet little Keira, currently more widely known by a much more masculine sounding name save a few close individuals. Someone who treads a thin line of possibly losing her job if she is found out to be transexual, not because she's incompetent, not because she's lazy, and definitely not because she's bat shit crazy! I make enough to support myself, and I do make enough to support another, barely, but if I really want to go through with my transition and the gods know I do I need to save every damn penny I can for when I finally get out of this job in a couple years and start to full time always be me!! And that is something I wouldn't trade for the world!
Other factors concerning my own situation are, well the fact that my parents don't know that there son wants to be there daughter, and that she is ready to tell them but scared out of her mind that she's going to lose them over it. The fact that I am changing my gender alone is enough to be like... "K um no kids please, I don't even have a vagina yet!".
I think That I should mention that I'm not Suggesting she get an abortion, most def. not! I'm adopted so in turn Im pro-life (not like those crazy pro-lifers though) so I think you know where I'm going when I say that neither of us is prepared for a child in our lives right now, and the only clear course of action is adoption, getting her to see that is a completely different problem that I'll be dealing with I over the next 8 months or so.
One last thing I want to point out before I stop for now is this. If you take me for being cold, then you don't truely understand what is best for a child. Why would I want my child to grow up with someone like me who can barely make it by and still scrounge up enough money to fully transition when the time comes a couple years from now or be incredablly depressed for her entire life because she was never able to because of a poor child (that I would eventually unconsciously blame)that was concevied after four years on unprotected marital sex and once it's mother finally hurt me enough that now I've come to hate her through and though. Or the child could be raised by a near psychotic borderline, I sincerely shutter at the though of what that woman could do to another human being. Why would I want either of these horrid sinareros to be placed on this defenseless human? I wouldn't ever, because it's just not fair! No one deserves a broken home before they've even entered the world!
We anyway I don't really have a proper way to end this so I'm just gonna end it by saying... Told ya it would be depressing 😉
First!!!
So I've finally decided to make this blog I've been using the haven for for too long. I'm going to start telling the world about my journey on a "whenever I get around to posting about it" basis. I'd love to answer any questions from anyone who stumbles upon my blog so don't be shy :-). Well I'm off for now, but their's a lot going on in my incredablly hectic life right now so I wouldn't be surprised if I post something pretty soon ;-)
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