Transition ain't easy!

This is my responce to a post in the transition area of the forum on racheals haven and I thought I'd help the girl on with some hard truths and some good tips! Basically this girl has just discovered that she is trans and plans on beginning her transition. She asked for some advice on how to go about having fun with her transition, and how to be passable. My responce is pretty straight foward and can probably come across as discouraging at first but these are my experiences and I wanted to share a realistic view of what she may vary likely be heading into. I've left out her handle and her original post for her protection, though let's face it, if you're reading this you're probably on the haven anyway (lurker or member ;-)).


Well I should Tell you hun, if this is what you really truly want in life, be prepared for life to be... Not so much fun for a bit. Be prepared to tell all your friends and family about your decision, an be prepared to lose them. Be prepared to be ridiculed and hated just because of you are. Be prepared to spend thousands of dollars on therapy, surgery, medication, and clothes. And be prepared for this to take years to accomplish. Now I'm not saying that everything about transitioning is bad, it's not! For the first time in your life you can finally feel like the person you're meant to be and the feeling of someone treating you as you are in your target gender is one of the best feelings I've ever had!

You sound like you have the right idea by taking it slow. Patience is probably the best thing a TG can have.

As for tips on passing, learn to walk and act like a woman mannerisms is an immediate tell! You can look like a goddess but if you walk like a cowboy your busted. Second I would say is good make up. There are plenty of tutorials online of how to do your make up well even for men! (god I love the Internet!! :-D) and lastly, and this is one that still troubles me even now, is voice for a lot of girls this is the hardest part of passing (as it is for me) it takes a long time to train your voice to sound female but it is achievable!

Lastly, and probably the best advice I can give you, is Don't Worry About Passing!! If this is who you are then this is who you are, don't let other peoples opinion deter you from being you. Hell you might find that being in the middle of the genders is where you fit best anyway! The gender spectrum is vary blurred and no one has the right to tell you where you belong on it!

Well I hope this helps you out some sweety! if you have any questions about transitioning feel free to ask. I myself am not that far along yet but I may be able to help you through yours and maybe we can even help each other
One more thing I won't use your name but I'm gonna put my responce on my blog, no reference to you Will be visible.

http://kittykeirajournal.blogspot.com/

Hope this helps you some ;-)

As an afterthought I'd also just like to say that starting on the road to become who I truely I'm is the best thing I've done for myself! It's not easy and on top of all the other thing mucking up my life right now it's even harder, but just the knowledge that some day I will pull through and be the woman I've always wanted to be makes everything worth while! I know alot of TG's go the depressed route and even sadder, attempt or succeed at suicide. But I know I can promise the world right now that will never be this girl! One day I'll look back and punch all this bullshit right in the face! And then kick it with stilleto's!!